I struggled to believe these words through the time this blog covers. I fought with every fiber of my being to stay afloat. I went under many hard times but the Lord did uphold me. And at the end I am certain that the trials I faced were not for my disaster but to reap a mighty harvest!! Enjoy!!
The middle of 2006 began a great journey of my first step into the wilderness with the Lord. I had no idea I would be going into the wilderness because I was just on a mountain top. It was around that same time that I had overcome some great difficulty and trial. I was now smack dab in the middle of the book of Psalms. The Lord is my rock, I was reading, my strong tower, refuge, in Him I shall not be moved.May 2006- my grandmother had been diagnosed with bone, lung and lymphnode cancer; stage IV. As I read the book of Psalms I rejoiced in the Lord that whatever He may bring through my grandmother's illness He would be my rock. I was thinking that my distant and not so compassionate extended family members would pull together during this time as I sat on my mountain top of God's word--then everyone came home from the doctor's office. And the light of the Lord came into a full on clash with darkness. No one wanted to pull together they wanted to blame and make someone else a scapegoat. And that honor was mine! Through this the Lord revealed to me what I had been neglecting to see my whole life. My family of origin wasn't meant to be a healthy place for me--it was my battlefield that would help me grow stronger through circumstances.
September 2006- My mother was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer and underwent surgery that December. Such a hard time for a person who had already had about 1 other cancer scare and
many other illnesses. I started my last year at CSUN and this was application time for graduate schools. I had come down with a bout of Epstein Barr because of all the stress of home and taking the hardest classes in my Undergrad. I was so sick that I really wasn't as focused as I needed to be to fight this battle victoriously. I had definately been wounded in battle and wasn't fulfilling all the Lord had planned. But I tried. January 2007- I met my lovely girls in our women's ministry study of "Jesus the One and Only" by Beth Moore. In the middle of the wilderness the Lord was teaching me to sow. Through that bible study I sowed friendships with "My Girls" that are continuing to reap this very day. One Thursday night the Lord revealed to my heart that I was not going to get into grad school this time around. Grad school is a promise the Lord has put on my life because I know He has wanted me to fulfill a career as a Speech Pathologist.
March 2007- I was diagnosed with 3 nodules in my left thyroid and tonsillitis. Still with no grad results back. I decided to plan in my head how I would work 2 surgeries in with grad school. The
next day I got my REJECTION letter from CSUN and that week all the other schools I had applied to. But, I gave it to the Lord. I had been sick for so long and worked so hard that I figured a break would do me good. May 2007- I graduated with honors from CSUN.
June-August 2007- took two summer classes!
August 15, 2007- Left thyroidectomy success!!! And tons of rest and love from my mom and church family.
End of August- hounded professors for letters of recommendation. And sent in the application.
September 13, 2007- tonsillectomy success!!!
October 2007- phone interview with CSUN distance learning program (Online Grad School). November 2007- Andrew proposed!
December 2007- relationship issues with a very dear loved one that drove me to the place the Lord had in store. I never realized that I hadn't really grown and matured in many healthy ways that families are suppose to facillitate. THIS TIME I PUT MY WHOLE TRUST IN THE LORD. I would not budge an inch until He told me the directions to where He wanted me to go. Many tears were shed grieving the loss of a life and relationship I thought I once had and then JOY came in the form of revelation from the Lord of the the life that God has had planned for me but I wasn't ready to live.
January 2008- I moved in with the Rog's to escape the oppression at Clybourn Ave. 18 years is long enough!!
January 2008- ACCEPTED to graduate school! Clothed in full armor. My battle wounds are healing but no more fiery darts of that devil are coming in. My shield of faith is up.
I pray that you see the parallel of 2006/2007 to 2008. I was sowing into tough, wilderness soil during 2006 and 2007. In December 2007 I finally gave it all to the Lord. Now I am reaping what the Lord and I have sown through those tough times. PRAISE HIS NAME! I feel like a walking testimony of the Lord. Not in my strength or wisdom, ALL through Him. I studied His word, sought godly counsel and books, I WAITED on the Lord and HE CAME!! He was faithful to show me the path and that path is full of light and promise and let me tell you HARDSHIP--but it's HIS way and that's all that matters. I know this post could be a book but thank you for enduring it. I had to spill out the excitement I feel as the Lord has acted on my behalf and shown me great things. I am certain that He can do it for you too!!
The journey is long. The road is tough and full of fog at times but the Lord knows where He is
going. I claim His promise proclaimed by Moses in Deuteronomy: "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." Praise God it's true!!
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